Public speaking is something that a lot of people fear. Some of our more common fears are: Being judged by others, forgetting what to say, not looking polished, sounding stupid, not knowing what to say and/or how to best articulate thoughts.
The majority of those fears are centered around judgment.
We think we are afraid of the judgment from others, but what we really fear is the judgment from ourselves.
The truth is, it is impossible to not be judged by others and our fear of the inevitable judgment causes us to try to adapt who we are to the expectations of others in an effort to stop their unstoppable judgments.
This serves only to shut us down.
It doesn’t matter how many people we are in front of, everyone has a judgement of us, and good or bad — their judgment has nothing to do with us. Their judgments are based on their past experiences and what/who we remind them of.
There are 3 things we can do:
- Embody — The ultimate solution is to embody your story and speak your truth from that embodied place. Your speaking fears live in your head. When you get out of your head, you become more embodied as a speaker. When you share your story from a place of embodiment, you are able to give the audience a transformational experience where they will be able to connect with you and your story in a more powerful and impactful way. You will be more engaged and present and your audience will experience THEIR TRUTH through YOU, the speaker.
- Connect — Speaking isn’t about performing, yet most of our speaking fears are performance based. When we realize that speaking is about connecting, not performing, we free ourselves from the work of having to wrestle with our speaking fears because they won’t be activated.
- Serve — When you’re more committed to THEIR experience than you are committed to protecting your self-image, your self-created pressure to perform perfectly will vanish.
The goal is to get to a point where the judgment from others no longer controls us because we know there’s nothing we can do to stop it.
You probably will not get to the point where you don’t care about the judgment from others, but you can get to the point that you don’t let it stop you.
Your fear of speaking is powerless when your commitment to your audience is bigger than your fear of their judgments.
Let me know your thoughts below.