Whether you’re just giving advice or trying to coach someone, here are 8 great coaching tips to make the interaction more effective:
1) Get permission! If you have the desire to help someone through coaching, the first and possibly most important step is to get permission. Without permission, your wisdom will fall on deaf ears. If someone asks you for help or gives you permission to help, they will better receive your message.
2) Remain in Rapport! It’s important to have established rapport with someone when you’re coaching them. I like to use the saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Make sure they know you care and aren’t just inflating your ego.
3) They have the answers! Whoever holds the problem also holds the answer to the problem. If you just tell them “Here’s your problem, and I’ll tell you what you need to do…” you can be painting them in a corner and forcing them to resist the message. People will always receive their own ideas better than yours – even if they always seek other people’s opinions and approval, there’s still not as much buy-in as when the answers come from within. AND, whatever you say can be challenged. Whatever they say is a fact – so get them to say it.
4) Let them make decisions on their own – Let them CHOOSE what to do. If necessary, offer two or more choices, and let them pick which one works for them. Also, it really helps you to stay detached from their choices, as they’re doing what they choose to do, instead of what you decide they should do.
5) Three questions to create buy-in – In coaching situations, such as when a new recruit joins your business, there are three great questions to use in order to create buy-in. These are: 1) What do you want? 2) Why do you want it? And 3) When you get it, how will it make you feel? These questions are important, because when someone’s emotionally bought into their dreams, they are more likely to get into action and follow through with their plan.
6) Ask for commitment – This coaching tip is simple to do, and often increases effectiveness. It’s a great way for you to tell who’s serious because you’re asking them to commit to doing something by a certain date. Furthermore, it’s a great way to know they understand exactly what’s expected both ways.
7) Resistance Triggers – Resistance triggers is the phrase I use for words that unconsciously create resistance when people hear them. The top 3 words are: should, need and have. Whenever you use these words with people, it can cause them to become defensive, rendering the coaching ineffective.
8) Make them feel good about themselves – I said that #1 as the most important step to coaching, but it’s probably tied with this one. Everybody’s seeking appreciation, so appreciate them!
Well, there are the 8 coaching tips. I hope it was helpful!
