Are you taking responsibility in all areas of your life???
While most people think they take responsibility for their actions, most people also fall into habitual thought patterns that cause them to pretend they’re not in control of their situation, and therefore not responsible for their circumstances.
The 3 main ways we duck responsibility are by shaming, blaming and justifying.
1. Shaming:
This is generally anger/resentment/disappointment turned inward. If you’re beating yourself up over mistakes you’ve made, traits you don’t have, circumstances you’ve created, etc., you’re living in a state of shame.
2. Blaming:
This is when we pretend we don’t have the ability to respond by blaming other people, environments, or anything not ourselves.
Even if it’s true someone else’s decisions lead to your lack of results, by the fact you’re using them as an excuse, you’re giving them the power of controlling your life and your dreams. I suggest you don’t do that! Instead, pretend everything is your responsibility, so you can be the one with the power to change it.
3. Justifying:
This one can include one or both of the above, and typically comes packaged with the words ‘but’ or ‘because’.
So to play The Responsibility Game, draw this simple diagram:
RESPONSIBILITY
=====================
SHAME
BLAME
JUSTIFY
The only rule of the game is that whenever you’re operating ‘below the line’, regardless of whether you say it out loud or not, you owe $2 into the pot (which is later given to a local charity). And pretty soon, you’ll be monitoring and changing your thoughts and language like never before. (or you’ll be broke!)
Examples of shaming, blaming & justifying statements:
~ “I can’t recruit anybody because everyone in my neighborhood is poor.”
~ “I would have made the phone calls, but my husband lost the paper with all the numbers!”
~ “I should have reached my goals, but none of my team members are working the business like they said they would.”
And the list goes on and on…
To take control of your life, you must operate from a state of 100% responsibility.
“Why” vs. “What”
One way to take responsibility is to ask yourself “What ” questions instead of “Why…” questions. “Why” is simply explorative, usually leading to a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions. “What” is action-based, always leading to something you can DO about your situation.
* For instance, “Why isn’t anyone buying products over the holidays?” becomes “What can I do to increase my holiday sales?”
* “Why isn’t anybody joining the business?” becomes “What can I do to better my recruiting ratio?”
* “Why won’t my team members do what they say they’re going to do?” becomes “What kind of magnet must I use to attract serious business builders?”
As simple as this sounds, it is HUGE! Remember, your mind will always answer any question you pose, so ask yourself questions that will lead to actions. You’ll have better clarity and you’ll be able to focus on what to DO instead of focusing on why you’re stuck (which usually just keeps you stuck).
