Respect carries with it a reputation. How you define respect plays a huge part in your life. So
What is Respect?
Respect is an inherent human value; we all want to be respected. BUT, we don’t want to let that value ruin our freedom or enjoyment of life. Because it’s an inherent value, respect is attached to us – it’s something we let in our heart and can profoundly affect us.
The purpose of talking about respect is to allow us to continue holding on to it, but to loosen our hold so it reduces our chances of being a victim and increases our ability to be in control.
But what is respect? Respect can be value, admiration, courtesy, agreement (sometimes), acknowledgement, validation, and importance.
Dictionary Definition of Respect
- To show consideration or esteem for.
- Courtesy or considerate treatment.
But the very definition of respect is based on other definitions! Consideration, esteem, and courtesy all have very different definitions that are based on our own personal filters.
For example, courtesy is very different in a proper British home as compared to in the ghetto. So how you grew up can really impact your view on respect.
What’s The Significance of Respect?
At the heart of almost all disagreements is some form of respect. Think of all that’s ruined by disagreements – marriages, relationships, etc. Often we’re arguing or wanting the same thing – but wanting it to be expressed in different ways (based on our own definitions).How you define respect determines how it affects your life. Loose definitions will be less influential; tight, very strict definitions will be highly influential. So let’s see if we can loosen the definition by asking some questions.
Respecting Questions…
You have the answers – just look inside:
- Is respect something that is demanded or commanded? Demanded respect is an expectation – you expect it from others and/or they expect it from you. Commanded means it’s on you to earn respect from others and vice-versa. The different perspectives change how you act.
- Is respect received or given? Is it something I have to give you, or is it something you need to make yourself available to receive? Or is it both? Is respect internal or external (or again, both)?
- Is respect constant or conditional? Should it be always adhered to in the same manner or does it change based on the situation?
Who’s in Control?
You’re in control when it comes to your thoughts, emotions & definitions, and respect fits into those categories. Respect is an internal game more than an external game. It’s based on your filters, how you see the world.
Remember, this is an empowering perspective, because everything you control empowers you rather than victimizes you.
If you think people don’t respect you, the first question is how much do you respect yourself? Always make it an internal question, so you’re in control.
~ SS
