While appreciation may sound like a simple concept, it has very powerful life applications.
Appreciation is defined in the dictionary many ways, the best definition in my opinion is appreciation being an increase in value. Think about it…when you appreciate someone, you increase their value. They usually feel better, and it often makes you feel good, too. Appreciation increases the self-esteem of both the giver and the receiver.
Unfortunately, our society is not generally focused on appreciating what we have. Rather, the primary focus in society is on what we lack – all that we don’t have. It is especially prevalent in today’s society with the economic pressures and all the media hype surrounding it.
The reality is that whatever you focus on expands. When you focus on what’s lacking in your life, it prevents the opportunity to appreciate what you do have in your life! Often this causes us to take things for granted, and creates that pattern in our lives.
I really like this simple concept that I heard one time around money, and it applies to appreciation. The statement is, “If I get $1 and I do not appreciate it, why would God give me $2?”
When we don’t appreciate what we have, why would we deserve more of it? This same concept can be said about success.
When we take success for granted, our unconscious mind acts like a little kid – when it doesn’t get acknowledged or appreciated for its efforts, it does not understand why it should continue to make those efforts. Thus, the unconscious mind uses the tools it has to sabotage success – perfectionism, negative head talk, etc. So with success, there must be appreciation, especially if you want to experience continued success.
Now you know the importance of appreciating success, but what about failures?
Gratitude & appreciation is important even when things don’t go your way. If you look, you can find the lessons or the blessings in every situation. When you do this, it helps keep anger, fear and irritation at bay. It will also put you in the right frame of mind to seek solutions…something fear & anger do not.
Now that we’ve covered the importance of appreciation, let’s talk about the 3 types or focuses or levels of appreciation:
- Appreciation for yourself
- Appreciation for others
- Appreciation for the world at large
Which one would you consider to be the most important and why?
If you’re like most people, you answered that #2 is most important – appreciating others. I think that’s due to the fact that most of us like to be appreciated by others, so we consider that important.
While I agree that it is important to appreciate others (and the world at large), #1 is #1 for a reason. It is most important to appreciate yourself because no one else can adequately do that for you.
Most of us are constantly seeking the appreciation of others, and even when we get it, we often still feel empty. Why? The problem is the lack of internal appreciation – self-appreciation. In fact, most of us are doing the exact opposite and beating ourselves up instead of appreciating ourselves.
So how do you appreciate yourself? Here are a few simple exercises that I recommend:
1. Victory log – (2 kinds)
a. Daily – write out what you accomplished each day and feel the gratitude and appreciation for accomplishing so much.
b. Lifelong – divide your life into thirds and write out all of your successes in each third of your life.
2. Mirror exercise –
a. Look at yourself in the mirror
b. Talk to yourself in the third person, using, “
[Name], I appreciate you for…
c. Focus on what you accomplished, things you successfully resisted, and positive thoughts you want to share
d. End by looking eye to eye and telling you that you love yourself.
3. Gratitude journal –
a. Write out or recite things that you are grateful for in life
b. I recommend doing this in the morning as it sets a positive tone for the whole day.
For all exercises, don’t take anything for granted! There is always something to appreciate. If you can’t think of anything, it’s okay to list things like learning to walk, ride a bike, finish school, getting dressed, taking a shower, etc. Appreciate the little things (like having 5 toes, the ability to breathe, etc.) and focus on what’s right.
Remember: The more you appreciate the things that you have in your life, the more you’re going to have in your life to appreciate. ~ SS
