Do you know what sets you off? Triggers are things we experience that cause us to react. Sometimes triggers create positive reactions, but more often they have negative reactions.
Our reactions are generally on autopilot – they are unconscious decisions, and so it feels as if we have no control. In reality, you always have control of your emotions – either consciously or unconsciously. The key to feeling like you’re in control is to make conscious decisions about your reactions.
What are some common examples of triggers?
- Rejection – the fear of rejection is a big trigger that generally leads people to the limiting belief of “I’m not good enough.” This belief has feelings attached – very disempowering feelings like frustration, overwhelm, fear, anxiety, etc. And this trigger is so powerful for many of us that we don’t even need to feel the rejection to create the negative emotions…we simply have to imagine it!
- Questions – being questioned or asking questions is another common trigger. Many people associate asking questions with feeling dumb, and being questioned can trigger trust issues.
- Words – so many words can be triggers, especially harsh & demeaning words like stupid, lazy, irritating…you get the idea.
- Focus – focus triggers are related to words. For example, saying “Don’t forget” triggers you to forget because the mind only understand images & action words…it ignores the “don’t” part. For that same reason, the phrase “Don’t take it personal” usually triggers someone to do just that.
- Songs, Smell, and Symbols are all triggers as well, with smell being one of the strongest triggers we have. There is no limit on what can be or become a trigger.
With this awareness on some common triggers, let’s move on to discuss why you have them.
Whenever the unconscious mind experiences something negative that is significant or highly emotionally charged, it looks around the environment and tries to make a connection. This connection is rarely a cause-effect relationship, because the unconscious mind does not work on logic. Instead your unconscious mind observes what it sees and assumes that what it sees is somehow connected to how you are feeling.
When this connection is repeated over and over again or coupled with a highly emotional event, a trigger can be created. Once that happens, it is best to remove triggers instead of resist them, because it is challenging (if not impossible) to logically resist emotional triggers.
But removing triggers or avoiding them is often out of your control, because the triggers are based on your experiences, which will involve other people & things beyond your command.
So if you can’t remove them, what should you do with negative triggers? How do you fix or dissolve them so they have less impact on you?
- Awareness – observe your thoughts, emotions and actions that seem to be triggered by events. Stop and observe what happened when you experience a negative thought. Usually this helps you find the source, or you’ll recognize a pattern begin to emerge. While this conscious awareness of triggers will help you, it is usually not powerful enough to break unconscious connections.
- Build new triggers – to break those unconscious connections. With conscious awareness, you can start replacing your normal reactions to triggers with something else. For example, if you get nervous prior to talking to someone about a business opportunity, do something that will make you feel confident instead of nervous. You might consider listening to an uplifting song, reading an affirmation or repeating a mantra. It does not matter what you do, as long as it’s something different that will instill confidence in place of the nervousness normally experienced.
Hopefully you now have greater awareness on what triggers you have, and how to disrupt the unconscious reaction and create new, empowering triggers instead. ~ SS
