Here’s a simple, yet easy change in your language that will have a huge, empowering impact on your business and personal life.
Remove the word can’t from you’re vocabulary and replace it with the phrase choosing not to.
Can’t is a victim word. It’s 100% disempowering, as it takes away our ability to make any choices or changes. But we let it roll right off our tongues with ease, don’t we?
Can’t is mostly used as a defense mechanism to keep yourself emotionally safe. For example you might say “I can’t find the time to make follow up calls” or “I can’t lose weight”. In truth, you’re choosing not to find time to make the calls and you’re choosing not to do whatever’s necessary to lose the weight because there’s something emotionally unsafe or uncomfortable about it. Let’s face it – you can always find the time to do the things you really want to do if they’re important enough. Always.
But in saying you can’t, you’re unconsciously trying to convince yourself there are outside forces stopping you. It’s an excuse for your lack of success! Most people hate having their excuses taken away.
As Marianne Williamson says, “Our biggest fear is not that we’re inadequate, but that we’re powerful beyond measure.”
This knowledge comes from years of personal experience, trying to convince myself there was a justifiable reason I wasn’t living my life out loud and reaching my potential, because that’s much easier for my ego to swallow than the fact that I was choosing to hold myself back. But in the end, the real outcome of pretending you have no control is living a life of less.
Another reason we use the word can’t is to pretend we have a restriction so we don’t have to tell someone the truth. For example, you might say, “I can’t go to that event” – when in reality, you just don’t want to. But the can’t makes it sound as if you have no choice. The bottom line is that’s a flat-out lie. And the more you lie, the less integrity you have within your own heart. And again, from experience, that doesn’t feel good! Just simply tell the truth – you’d rather not go.
So the next time you catch yourself using this dangerous word, ask “Is that the truth, or is it just an excuse?”
By changing can’t to choosing not to, you’ll be empowered. If you’re choosing not to do an activity to grow your business, once you realize it’s a choice, then you can simply make the opposite choice as soon as you want to. That will move you from victimhood to empowerment – you are always in charge of your destiny. Always.
Go ahead and try it now. Out loud, say something to yourself you want to be doing in your business or personal life, but you’ve been pretending you can’t do. Replace I can’t with I’m choosing not to and notice how different that feels. As soon as you want to stop making that choice that’s holding you back, then make the other one so you can soar like the eagle you were created to be.
