It was nearing Valentine’s Day, and I was pondering many things, when an image came to me of an ear and a heart. I thought for a moment and realized that many problems could be solved if we started listening with our hearts, instead of our heads. I know I would be able to communicate much better if I listened that way, so I thought I’d give it a try.
Want to know what happened? Listening got easier, communication became more effective, and relationships were strengthened…all by this simple switch. When I listen with my head, I listen to the words people are saying and often start to think about what I’m going to say in response. Or, I try to solve their problems while they talk. Or, their words trigger some other memory and I start thinking about something else entirely. Or, I’ll place my own meaning on their words and miss their intention completely. The list goes on…
Sound familiar? I think this little scenario is the cause of nearly all miscommunication. Remember, the mind is a great servant, but a terrible leader.
So, I started listening from my heart. I swear I could hear people better, and I know it made a tremendous difference. I was able to focus more on the person speaking, and the intentions behind the words. I would listen for the emotions and the meanings behind the words – their emotions and feelings, not mine. It’s much easier to keep my wandering mind in check.
One of the biggest benefits of listening from the heart is that it’ll be easier for you to not take offense, because you’ll be listening to their intentions, instead of their words. And rarely is it someone’s intention to offend others. So you’ll avoid so many potential upsets and arguments, you’ll connect better with people, and you’ll be much happier.
There’s a poem in my daughter’s Nursery Rhyme book that says, “A wise old owl sat in an oak; the more he heard, the less he spoke, the less he spoke, the more he heard. Why aren’t we all like that wise old bird?”
When I read it, I think of the old saying, “You have two ears and one mouth – use them proportionally.” Both sayings are good reminders that listening is important, and when you do it authentically, you make the other person feel important. When someone feels important, it is empowering, and every person who feels empowered can create a better life and a better world.
Enjoy your heart-led journey!
SS
