Q: What is guilt, exactly?A: Guilt is when you make yourself feel bad or shameful, over something you did or didn’t do
Q: Where does it come from?
A: You create guilt whenever your own values are offended, or when you think you might be offending someone else’s values.
It’s also often created by the tension of having something you want to do and not doing it
Q: Why guilt is a problem?
A: Guilt causes you to not do things that are important to you and it makes you feel bad about yourself.
Guilt also has the potential for creating long term fears, like lack of commitment and resistance to making decisions.
Q: How do you drop guilt?
A: Guilt is 100% self-created – own that. If you don’t, then there’s nothing you can do to get rid of it!
Q: What do your values have to do with guilt?
A: Understand that when you say yes to something, you say no to something else. Your choices are not just yes or no decisions. For example, if someone asks you to help them move and you say yes, but then fail to spend time with your kids, which is a higher value, you can create guilt.
When you learn to make intentional decisions based on your values – by saying yes to the higher valued choice – you can let go of guilt. Of course, values can change in ranking based on certain situations.
Q: What are some tips for getting rid of guilt in your business?
A: First, get clear on your purpose for working the business – it should be in line with your values. If it’s not, you have to evaluate that! You’ll give yourself internal permission to work your business if it is in line with your purpose & values.
Second, create a specific schedule – start with the non-negotiables – the things that are most important in your life – then add in the things that are less and less important. When you schedule the less important stuff first, you often end up with no space for the big things – creating overwhelm and frustration. You’ll probably have a lot of guilt going on as well.
Third, stick to the schedule – use a timer if needed. Keep your commitments and keep to your schedule so your values can be fulfilled – otherwise you’ll stop believing you’re putting your values in order (because you’re not!) & you’ll start creating internal obstacles and guilt.
Q: Anything else on guilt to keep in mind?
A: Keep shame and guilt out of your parenting because the effects are devastating and long term! ~ SS
