Do you have the all success you desire in life? If you’re someone who has not achieved the success you’ve strived for, you may be sabotaging your own success. It sounds crazy, but the reality is, whether you know it or not, you may have a hidden fear of success.
As a coach, I’ve worked with hundreds of people who have a strong desire to succeed in life, but who have not yet achieved the levels they feel they deserve. What I generally uncover in working with these individuals is a fear of success – for one reason or another.
Here are five realistic reasons you may be sabotaging your own success:
1. Scared of the Spotlight
When you achieve success, there is often a spotlight that shines directly on you. This spotlight not only brightens your achievements, it can also shed light on any of your perceived limitations. If you are unhappy with your physical appearance on any level, for example, being in the spotlight can only intensify that displeasure. Why would you want to bring to light something that you are unhappy with about yourself?
Being in the spotlight also means you have greater visibility – and potential vulnerability. When you are in the spotlight, you will be talked about – both positively and negatively. You may shy away from the spotlight to avoid the increased potential for people to talk bad about you.
2. Greater Responsibility
This is one of the “Catch-22” factors of success. When you achieve success, you might end up having more responsibility – whether that’s more people looking up to you and wanting you to mentor them, or possibly having more money that requires you to take more time to manage it. If you already feel you have enough responsibility in your current situation, your mind will protect you by sabotaging success and keeping you “safe”.
Another idea that goes along with greater responsibility stemming from success is the increased pressure to stay on top. This is all a perception, and generally just pressure we put on ourselves – consciously or not. So the reality is that if there’s increased pressure, which is generally uncomfortable, our mind will help us to stay where we are…comfortable.
3. More time away from family
Many people desire to achieve success in order to have greater freedom – including the freedom to spend more time with family. However, the reality is that many of these same people also perceive that being successful means more time away from loved ones – either due to working longer hours, increased traveling, or other time pressures that leave less time for family. If that’s what you perceive, then you’ll sabotage yourself from getting the success you say you want if you value time with your family more than the success itself.
4. Greater chance of failure when you go after success
In this scenario, you may be sabotaging yourself from even trying to succeed! The belief here is that if you don’t risk it, you can’t fail. If you’re afraid to fail or have any notion that you can’t fail if you’re going to be successful, then your mind will do everything in its power to keep you right where you are – because you’ll be safest in that spot.
5. Going to lose something you enjoy in life in order to achieve success
You might be sabotaging success in your life if you already enjoy everything in it, and fear that you’d lose something you already have if you were to add success. This is not abundant thinking – it’s very limited thinking that says for every new thing that comes into your life, something old must go. Even if it is true (which I am not sure I believe), what if the old thing that had to go in order to achieve success is letting go of a failure? Often people find that they are holding on to things that are no longer serving them – and hoarding all the times you did not achieve success certainly can keep you from experiencing it. If this logic resonates with you, the question is, “Do you really enjoy EVERYTHING in your life exactly how it is now?” If you said yes, I’d say you already achieved success.
You may resonate with one or more of the five fears that most commonly come out when coaching individuals who are seemingly sabotaging their own success. All of these reasons are valid as our subconscious mind attempts to protect us from feeling pain, even if in the end we are seeking pleasure in the form of success. The solution lies in working with your subconscious mind, until the potential for pleasure (and success) outweigh the pain possibly endured in the process. I’d love to help you minimize the pain and maximize the pleasure, so you can have the success you desire, and live the life of your dreams!
