Maybe they are one and the same? I learned this concept of emotional ecology in my quest for knowledge and achievement. When I first heard it in regards to goal setting, I understood it to mean any goals I set should be safe – for myself, others, and the environment. I figured it would be pretty easy to set goals that did not harm other people or the environment, so I didn’t tap into the relevance of this concept.
Then as I was teaching the concept the true meaning really hit me – it was one of those “Ah-Ha!” moments, as I call them. I had been focusing on others and the environment, and forgetting about the safe for myself part. So what does that really mean? As I understand it, my unconscious mind’s highest priority is to keep me emotionally safe, so if I set a goal that takes my mind out of that safety zone, there’s a very good chance I will not achieve it. And this can take form by either playing it safe, or it might manifest as self-sabotage.
An example from Mary Kay is this – I set a goal to be a National Sales Director. I also feel uncomfortable in my body and want to lose 25 pounds. Now being a NSD means more exposure…and a picture of you gets taken that will be etched in history for all to see. Knowing what to do to become a NSD, you’d feverishly work until you got there, right? Wrong. Remember that uncomfortable feeling in your body? Well, your unconscious mind says “Your emotional safety is of highest importance to me, and I know it would be emotionally detrimental to you to have your picture taken at your current body weight, as well as the extra exposure from attaining NSD status.”
So what do you do?
Nothing?
Maybe a little bit here and there, but not enough to get you to NSD, for sure. Perhaps you’re playing it safe by being a fabulous cosmetics customer service rep – meaning you get customers and take good care of them, but fail to offer the opportunity to anyone (hard to get to NSD that way, right?)
Or maybe you’re the self-sabotage type? This can take many forms…one of my favorites is the “I work from home and there’s all these reminders of others things to do – laundry, vacuuming, dusting, organizing the junk drawer, catching up on Oprah every now and then, more laundry”…you get the picture, right?
Can you see yourself in either of these examples? Maybe just a little? Don’t despair!
The first step is knowledge, which you’ve just received. Second, get a game plan to get your unconscious mind to agree NSD is a “safe” goal for you. If you’re uncomfortable in your body, do something about it. Set a goal and start exercising, eating healthier, and taking care of yourself so more exposure and a photo of you are no longer intimidating.
Or you can go on doing what you’re doing and get what you’ve always gotten. What sounds better to you?
