Speak for Yourself: 7 Tips to Healthier Head Talk

We all have an internal voice that speaks to us, and unfortunately, that head talk often isn’t very nice.

Contrary to what you might think, your head talk does not have any power over you.  It can’t make you do anything.  You can choose to ignore it, but most people listen anyway.  

Yet unhealthy head talk is only in control if you plug into it.  

What Channel Are You Watching?

Imagine you had a television with only 2 channels – one is positive and the other is negative.  If you’re watching one, you can’t see the other.  That’s what happens with head talk.  We have one negative channel and another that’s positive.  Because we can’t pay attention to both at the same time, we often hear the one that talks loudest.  For most of us, that’s the negative channel, but we have the power to change the channel and pay attention to the positive.  We can also learn how to turn up the volume on the positive channel, too.

Don’t wrestle with the existence of negative head talk, because it will always be there.  But you don’t have to watch that channel.  When you notice it’s on, you can change it back to the positive channel.  And the more you do this, the easier it will be to change in the future.  

Here are 7 tips to help you change the channel and experience healthier head talk:

Tip #1

Avoid using the 3 main resistance triggers:

  1. should
  2. have to
  3. need to 

Those words come from scarcity and fear; they are not inspiring.  Instead, say I will or I want to, or don’t say anything and just do it!

Tip #2

Challenge your assumptions.  What assumptions are you operating on, and therefore, creating expectations around?  Every expectation determines your reaction to what you encounter.  If you assume everyone will say “yes,” then you’ll be discouraged when you get a “no.”  But if you assume everyone will say “no,” you’ll get excited about “yes!”

Tip #3

Remove negative affirmations. The things you say and repeat to yourself are accepted as truth.  Stop affirming things you don’t want to have happen.  A common example is, “I’m always late.”  If you want it to be different, you must remove that affirmation in order to create the opportunity for change.

Tip #4

Stop using universals.  Always, never, no one, everyone, etc., are universal words we use that are rarely true.  When you use them, you’re not allowing space for hope or possibility.  “Nobody has money during the holidays” is an untrue statement, but your brain will believe you and will help make your statement come true.

Tip #5

Break free from bringing the past with you.  Just because something happened in the past, it doesn’t mean it has to continue into the future.  The key is to not talk about patterns from the past in present tense.  When you own the past in the present tense, you don’t give yourself reason or space to change.  “I am afraid of talking to people I don’t know” may feel true for you at present.  However, if you want to change it, say “I used to be afraid of talking to people I don’t know,” then your brain will work to help you stop that pattern.

Tip #6

Empowering “what if” questions.  When you ask “what if…?” the question must be phrased positively to put you in a healthier head space.   

Tip #7

Ask how instead of why questions.  Why questions are generally unanswerable, but your mind will keep working on it, and you’ll get stuck.  Ask how questions instead, and your brain can answer and help you get into action.  

If you would like more help improving your head talk, we recommend you listen to the audio on this topic.  Eagles Club members will find this in the archives, while anyone can access it here for only $5: http://elitesuccesssystems.teachable.com/p/speakfor-yourself.  If you would rather join the Eagles Club and get access to all the archives for only $19 months, after a 2 month free trial, you can join here: https://coachseansmith.safechckout.com/eaglesclubtrial  We are always here to help however we can, so if there’s anything we can do for you, call our office or send us an email directly. 805-552-4423 info@CoachSeanSmith.com Here’s to your healthy head talk! ~ SS