Recruiting R.E.C.I.P.E.

In direct sales, recruiting is the life-blood of your business.  Learn how to create duplication and leveraged income with this R.E.C.I.P.E.


To get yourself in the right mindset for recruiting, understand all you’re really doing is realizing in your heart that you have something special to share with people and it comes wrapped up in a product or service and a business opportunity.  


Relax.  Don’t recruit with desperation.  So many people get caught up on their words needing to be perfect, or presenting themselves the “right way,” etc.  Your greatest chance of yielding a positive response when recruiting is to come from a place of service and giving the gift you have to offer. 


Enthusiasm.  Enthusiasm is excitement that comes from your core, so it lasts longer, is more stable and gives you a magnetic quality.  Enthusiasm grows from belief in the products and/or services you provide plus the passion you have for helping others with the business opportunity.   It’s a great ingredient for recruiting.


Care.  There is no substitute for truly caring about people.  If you truly care about people, they will know it, and they will be open to what you offer.

Put your own personal agenda aside.  Show you care by having a genuine interest in others’ goals and dreams.  Your opportunity has the potential to provide this and you can show them how.


Invite.  Invite people to the next step, nothing more.  If you’re just meeting someone, it’s inviting them to give you their name and number so you can follow up.  If they’ve already been contacted, you can invite them to a weekly meeting, get on a 3-way call,  or watch a video, etc..  Invite people and then let them decide.  


Practice. When you get into action by consistently inviting people with relaxed care and enthusiasm, you get good at it.  Momentum comes when you take action and it allows you to stay in action.  By inviting over and over again, you’ll get good at it.  “It is better to begin with fault than to hesitate perfectly.”  You will never get good at anything by hesitating.  Stay real & authentic and stop worrying about what to say or how they might respond.  

Practice does not make perfect, because perfection doesn’t exist, but practice makes permanent.  It allows you to create a habit, which leads to duplication and leverage in your business.


Enjoy.  I live by the phrase, “Enjoy the Journey,” and it’s an important piece of not only your business, but your life.  You can’t enjoy your business when you have expectations of others, so release those expectations and let them decide.    If you focus on fun & fulfillment, people will want to follow you.   

If you have questions or would like help with any of these aspects, you can book a complimentary consultation with one of our coaches, by calling 805-552-4423, emailing or scheduling online here:  We hope this Recruiting R.E.C.I.P.E. makes things easier for you and allows you to enjoy the journey along the way!

B.E.G.I.N. Again

If you’ve ever resisted starting over, thinking it feels like regression, failure, or resignation, you’re not alone.  Even with your ego judgments and emotional connections (feeling like you’re not enough), sometimes choosing to B.E.G.I.N. Again really the best option.

Where Are You? 

You are where you are.  Try not to feel bad about it or apologize for it, because when you do, you affirm that you’re not where you want to be or where you feel you should be.  With affirmations like that, you’re only encouraging yourself to stay in that space.  

If you want to empower yourself, you need to nurture yourself.  Start by openly embracing and acknowlecdging where you are, so you can change it.  The fact that there’s frustration regarding where you are means that there’s ambition underneath it.  Let’s use that ambition and B.E.G.I.N.:


Breathe. When you breathe, it’s like you’re taking inventory and becoming present.  Focusing on your breath allows you to see and be connected to what is.  When you become aware of what is, you can embrace it and accept it.  Becoming present, you’re not connected to past pains or future fears.


Envision. Once you’re connected to where you are now, then take a moment to look at or envision where you want to go.  Don’t just see the finish line, though, you’ve got to emotionally connect to the outcome you desire, too.  Give yourself permission to dream expansively, like you did when you were a kid – before you knew or felt any fear or failure.  Envision the dreams you love, the dreams that bring you excitement and what you are willing to fight for, despite any fears.  Envision the emotions you would experience when you achieve your dreams, and really tap into them, so you can use those feelings to fuel you through any fears or “failures.”


Goals. Set goals based on the dreams and desires of your heart, not what your head thinks.  When you let your head set your goals and hope to inspire your heart, you’re generally going to be disappointed.  Your heart is what fuels your ability to go after your goals, so it’s best to set goals from that space.  When you get clear on your goals, then you’ve got to create action plans to help you achieve them.


Invite.  Invite people to join you in your journey.  You will only achieve your goals if you get the support you need from others.  While the dream may be yours, you should not try to achieve it alone.  Whether you need a coach, a mentor, an accountability partner, a support system, a friend to have fun with along the way, you’ve got to invite people to play with you and work with you, too!  Inviting others to join you on your journey will make it easier and more enjoyable.


Nourish.  When you plant a garden, you’ve got to continue watering the seeds if you want them to grow.  You’ve got to give them the nourishment they need.  Just like those plants, you need to nourish yourself in order to keep growing and blossoming.  Even if you’ve invited others to join you and they are there to help, your nourishment begins from within.  Appreciate yourself and be proud of yourself, regardless of the results.  Love yourself unconditionally, every day.  

Where Will You Go?

If you are ready to B.E.G.I.N. Again and don’t know where to start, we highly recommend you schedule a consultation with one of our coaches, which you can do by calling 805-552-4423, emailing or booking your appointment online here:  Here’s to your ability to B.E.G.I.N. Again and enjoy the journey along the way! ~ SS

L.I.M.I.T. Your Limitations

How do you limit yourself? How do you hold yourself back?


Our limitations are based on beliefs we have – beliefs about ourselves, the world, other people, success, etc. These beliefs, generally created in childhood, can turn into head talk that often severely limits our ability to enjoy life and create success.  However, even though those beliefs may be negative now, they were created to protect you in the first place. Unfortunately, when we outgrow the need for protection, we also outgrow our beliefs, but that doesn’t mean they change. In fact, the beliefs then become a burden and often cause us to get stuck.

We have to do some work to change those beliefs, and the work isn’t hard when you’re willing, but it becomes hard if you’re afraid to let go of your excuses. Let’s look at what you can do if you’re willing to let go of the excuses and limitations:


List the limitations. Write it out, by hand, with paper and pen. Write down your fears and what you feel limits you. The more clarity you have on the actual belief, the better. When you write it down, it allows you to have more clarity and gives you conscious awareness of the belief you want to challenge. This act alone can take away some of the power of the limiting belief.


Invert it. Example: “I am not good enough” becomes “I am good enough.” This may feel uncomfortable and it may also feel like it’s not doing anything, but it’s an important step to give clarity on what you want your belief to be.


Mind-shift. This is where most of the work is done. This is where the transformation occurs, and you might need help to get this done.  While you have the internal resources you need to make the change, you’re really just too close to the problem to do it on your own. “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” ~ Albert Einstein


Integrate. If and when you experience a shift, you still have access to your old habits, beliefs, patterns and behaviors. So you’ve got to nurture new habits and beliefs. Continue noticing when the old stuff comes back, and practice putting your new beliefs and habits in motion to make them stronger. Don’t beat yourself up when old habits or beliefs come back; be loving, gentle and encouraging with yourself when you fall back, because it happens.


Trust. This is a BIG word with many applications, but in this context, trust the world.  Trust God or whatever higher power you believe in, or simply trust the universe. Trust that your own life experiences are perfect for you and right now you are where you are meant to be. Everything you’ve experienced has happened for your benefit and growth. Growth comes from pain, adversity and failure. And know that when you work on eliminating one limiting belief, there’s often another one underneath ready to take it’s place. Then you get to work on that. Trust the process. Trust yourself. It’s all working to your benefit even when it sucks and you want it to stop, so keep going. Don’t wait until you’re ready or no longer afraid – that time won’t come. Trust that now is the time to limit your limitations.

Letting Go

When you’re ready to let go of your limitations, it’s time to take action.  Call our office (805.552.4423), email us (, or book your appointment online now ( for a complimentary one-on-one phone consultation to see what we can do to help you.  We’re here to help you Enjoy the Journey!

Empowerment ENERGY

Making personal empowerment a daily endeavor enables you to do what your business is about – ultimately help yourself and others gain freedom.  The following 6 tips will help you live in an ENERGY of empowerment:


Express – There’s nothing that mires us more than unexpressed energy; repressed feelings, thoughts and emotions – both good and bad – become blocked energy.  Expressing those things creates motion, which is what you want.  Negative thoughts, feelings and emotions towards yourself or other people need to be expressed, and it’s important to use an empowering avenue to do that. We teach a method called the Total Truth Letter, to allow you to engage your feelings and release them. You write the letter, but then choose whether or not to give it to the person. Simply expressing your feelings often helps the situation, allowing you to see and react to things differently. On the positive side, when you express your happy thoughts, feelings and emotions, you energetically attract more of that in your life, too.


Nurture – Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself to ensure you are living in positive and empowering energy. The Mirror Exercise is a great tool you can use to love and appreciate yourself, which is often the nurturing we seek from others and rarely give ourselves. The mantra "I love myself, I am gentle with myself" is one I learned from Jack Canfield and is helpful when we feel like we are falling away from exactly that. It’s a good mantra to use when you notice you are beating yourself up or not taking care of yourself. It forces you to stop doing those things and start showing up as gentle and loving, which is effectively empowering.


Engage – Energy is always greater when combined, so engage with other people to increase your energy. Engaging in activities can empower and energize you as well, especially activities that interest you and/or bring you joy. The opposite, disengaging, is the act of stopping all flow of energy, so it’s not what you want to do in order to feel empowered or energized, except when you’re disengaging with people or things that bring you down energetically.


Responsibility – 100% responsibility for your life and actions is what we teach, because it keeps you from being a victim and allows you to be empowered. Even when things happen to you that may appear "out of your control," you can control how you react, and that is where you can claim responsibility and choose not to be a victim. You can also take responsibility for your energy even when you are around people who usually drain you or make you feel disempowered. Take a moment to imagine yourself surrounded by a fountain of water, and that water protects you with a forcefield, of sorts, allowing negative energy to flow away from you, rather than impact you.


Generosity – When you give, you open yourself up to receive. Giving of your resources, time, talents or even finances is an energetic flow, and empowers you to receive the same – often in greater quantities than when you give. It’s important to be generous in your spirit of giving, too – meaning, you must give without the expectation of getting anything in return. If you have an expectation of getting something when you give, then it’s not truly giving.


Youth – No matter your age, you can engage the power of youth by looking at things "through the eyes of a child" in order to empower and energize yourself. If you’re doing something you’ve done a thousand times or more, you can always take a step back and look at it from the perspective of it being the first time. You might notice things you could do differently, and it will give you more energy, too. 


We love working with people who are ready to empower themselves to make a change.  If that’s you, schedule a personal one-on-one call with a certified coach to find out how we can help.  Simply visit to get your complimentary session now, or call 805-552-4423 or email

Speak for Yourself: 7 Tips to Healthier Head Talk

We all have an internal voice that speaks to us, and unfortunately, that head talk often isn’t very nice.

Contrary to what you might think, your head talk does not have any power over you.  It can’t make you do anything.  You can choose to ignore it, but most people listen anyway.  

Yet unhealthy head talk is only in control if you plug into it.  

What Channel Are You Watching?

Imagine you had a television with only 2 channels – one is positive and the other is negative.  If you’re watching one, you can’t see the other.  That’s what happens with head talk.  We have one negative channel and another that’s positive.  Because we can’t pay attention to both at the same time, we often hear the one that talks loudest.  For most of us, that’s the negative channel, but we have the power to change the channel and pay attention to the positive.  We can also learn how to turn up the volume on the positive channel, too.

Don’t wrestle with the existence of negative head talk, because it will always be there.  But you don’t have to watch that channel.  When you notice it’s on, you can change it back to the positive channel.  And the more you do this, the easier it will be to change in the future.  

Here are 7 tips to help you change the channel and experience healthier head talk:

Tip #1

Avoid using the 3 main resistance triggers:

  1. should
  2. have to
  3. need to 

Those words come from scarcity and fear; they are not inspiring.  Instead, say I will or I want to, or don’t say anything and just do it!

Tip #2

Challenge your assumptions.  What assumptions are you operating on, and therefore, creating expectations around?  Every expectation determines your reaction to what you encounter.  If you assume everyone will say “yes,” then you’ll be discouraged when you get a “no.”  But if you assume everyone will say “no,” you’ll get excited about “yes!”

Tip #3

Remove negative affirmations. The things you say and repeat to yourself are accepted as truth.  Stop affirming things you don’t want to have happen.  A common example is, “I’m always late.”  If you want it to be different, you must remove that affirmation in order to create the opportunity for change.

Tip #4

Stop using universals.  Always, never, no one, everyone, etc., are universal words we use that are rarely true.  When you use them, you’re not allowing space for hope or possibility.  “Nobody has money during the holidays” is an untrue statement, but your brain will believe you and will help make your statement come true.

Tip #5

Break free from bringing the past with you.  Just because something happened in the past, it doesn’t mean it has to continue into the future.  The key is to not talk about patterns from the past in present tense.  When you own the past in the present tense, you don’t give yourself reason or space to change.  “I am afraid of talking to people I don’t know” may feel true for you at present.  However, if you want to change it, say “I used to be afraid of talking to people I don’t know,” then your brain will work to help you stop that pattern.

Tip #6

Empowering “what if” questions.  When you ask “what if…?” the question must be phrased positively to put you in a healthier head space.   

Tip #7

Ask how instead of why questions.  Why questions are generally unanswerable, but your mind will keep working on it, and you’ll get stuck.  Ask how questions instead, and your brain can answer and help you get into action.  

If you would like more help improving your head talk, we recommend you listen to the audio on this topic.  Eagles Club members will find this in the archives, while anyone can access it here for only $5:  If you would rather join the Eagles Club and get access to all the archives for only $19 months, after a 2 month free trial, you can join here:  We are always here to help however we can, so if there’s anything we can do for you, call our office or send us an email directly. 805-552-4423 Here’s to your healthy head talk! ~ SS

Motivation M.A.G.I.C.

There is MAGIC in motivation, or what that will keep you going when you need a little fuel:


This works for artistic creativity as well as business creativity – creating value, relationships, support, sales, opportunities for recruiting, and overall success.   

A Look at Motivation

Motivation is not what comes first, even though most of us want motivation to move us.  That’s theoretical motivation – emotions that move us without a foundation – which is a dangerous & unsustainable.  

In reality, action comes first.  Then you get results, and that can lead to motivation.  I’ve referred to this as ARM circles – Actions lead to Results which leads to Motivation, which leads back to Action.  

But when your Actions don’t generate the Results or outcomes you want, then it also generally does not create the Motivation you need to take more Action.  So it’s important to be able to have other ways to motivate yourself when Action isn’t the answer.  That’s where the MAGIC lies… 

M – Movement

If you’re not motivated, but want to be, one of the first things I recommend is movement.  I’m talking about physical movement.  Get up, get your body moving and it will activate your heart & mind, too.  This creates energy that will energize and motivate you!    

A – Appreciation 

When people aren’t feeling motivated, they are often caught up in thoughts of what’s wrong, what’s missing, or even what if’s.  However, those thoughts can be changed by acknowledging what you appreciate or can appreciate, even if you’re not feeling it at the moment.  

G – Giving 

If you’re not motivated to talk to people about your business, for example, you might be focusing on what you could gain from the conversation and create fear and other negative emotions.  However, if you focus on what you have to GIVE in that same scenario, it can shift you into a space of service, which is more motivating (& more effective!)  

I – Inspire 

I’m being literal here – I want you to INSPIRE, and by that I mean BREATHE!  Often when we’re not feeling motivated, we are barely breathing – our unconscious has taken over and is doing what it needs to survive.  But you don’t want to merely survive – that’s not a motivating space.  You want to THRIVE!  Take a BIG breath in and let it all out.  Do that at least 3 times and you’ll notice a difference immediately.  You’ll release tension, improve your posture, create more energy, be able to think clearer, and elevate your mood, etc. 

C – Create 

Motivation is something you can create.  We are all creative creatures.  Creativity helps us to come alive.  Whether it’s writing, dancing, drawing, designing, or whatever speaks to you, creativity can get and keep us motivated.  Your creativity doesn’t have to make you money, but it’s often what makes you happy.  Being happy helps you get motivated, too.  Tap into your creativity whenever you want to find motivation.  If you’re having trouble with tapping into creativity, my wife recently read and highly recommends Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, BIG Magic.  Funny enough, she hadn’t read it until after she gave me her initial suggestions for this call. =)

Go Work Your MAGIC!

If you would like help working your MAGIC, that’s where we work ours!  You can sign up for a complimentary consultation with one of our coaches here:  If you need options for a day or time that’s not offered, call our office or send us an email directly. 805-552-4423 Here’s to your Motivation MAGIC! ~ SS

No More Negative Emotions

Are you ready to rid yourself of negative emotions?  Wouldn’t it be nice to never feel bad again?  

What if I told you that you can get rid of negative emotions and bad feelings?  Would you believe me?

Well, it is true, to an extent.

Before I tell you how though, I must first explain the difference between emotions and feelings.  

We often use these words interchangeably, but emotions are what we experience physically in the body, and feelings “are mental associations and reactions to emotions” (Debbie Hampton,  Simply stated, feelings are what’s happening in your mind when you experience emotions.

So how do you get rid of negative emotions and bad feelings?

You change the label.  Drop the words negative and bad and replace them with unpleasant or uncomfortable, or just drop the judgment altogether.  We all experience emotions and feelings.

When we judge that they are negative or bad, it causes us to want to stop them – and we often do, bottling them up, or pushing them away.  Sometimes we even engage in external behaviors to help us “handle it.”  But none of this helps us handle it, and if we don’t allow ourselves to fully experience emotions or feelings for fear of what might happen, we lose the potential for insights that might occur as a result of allowing them.

I had the privilege to hear Dr. Joan Rosenberg talk about this recently, when she shared The Gifted Wisdom of Unpleasant Feelings.  You can watch her TedX version of the talk here:  She explains why this shift is so important. 

The benefit is ultimately being comfortable in your own skin.  When we can allow ourselves to experience emotions and feelings and know that they will not break us, but that in fact, we will ultimately benefit from them, then we can begin to get that comfort.

Sometimes it is as simple as making that shift and allowing yourself to experience emotions and feelings.  But often that is difficult to do on our own.

So if you aren’t comfortable in your own skin, if you’re repressing feelings and emotions or experiencing addictive behaviors to avoid them, it’s important to get help.

You can seek out a psychologist such as Dr. Joan Rosenberg.  You can seek out any of several avenues of help available to you.  For some, it may be doing your own reading and research to help you understand things and process them.  For others, it’s simply talking to a trusted friend or family member to help create that comfort.  And there’s also the option of working with a coach.

I am a trained neuro-transformational coach, and I have trained other coaches who do what I do.  We are here to help, all you have to do is reach out.  

You can schedule a complimentary consultation with one of our coaches here: or you can call our office at 805-552-4423 or email

Ignition & Implementation

Here is a quick summary of my top 10 tips to ignite success through implementation:

10 – Review Your Year 

How did your year go?  What went well for you?  Why? 

Think a bit about what didn’t go well or the way you wanted it to, or goals you didn’t quite reach.  What lessons did you learn?  What would you do differently?  

9 – Dream BIG!

Set aside some time by yourself to stop and think about what it is you want to experience this year (you can dream beyond this year, too, if you want!).  Don’t try to figure out how to make it happen, just think about what you want and write it down.  Give yourself permission to play and know that you’re not tied to any of it.  It should be a fun experience for you.

8 – Set Goals

Of all the things you came up with in your Dream BIG session, pick the 3 that would mean the most to you to achieve this year.  From those dreams, set 3 BIG goals for yourself this year that when you achieve them, you would feel significantly successful.  Your mind needs clarity to help you move in the right direction, so remember to make the goals SMART (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and time-bound).  

7 – Visualize Achieving Goals

Take a moment to think about what you will experience when you achieve a goal.  Close your eyes and imagine achieving your goal.  What do you see?  How do you feel?  Are there any images you can describe when you experience achieving that goal?  The more real and vividly you can imagine it, the more your brain will engage in helping you get there.  Write down what you visualized, as it will help you with the next tip. 

6 – Create Affirmations

The key with affirmations is to believe them, or they will never work.  It’s best to use experiences or traits that you believe, such as, “I am a servant leader helping people realize their dreams and getting paid to do it.”  You want enough clarity to engage your heart, but enough vagueness to not engage your mind’s limiting beliefs.  

5 – Determine Action Plans

This tip engages your intellectual mind.  What actions will help you achieve your goals?  If you don’t know, the first step is then to do research or reach out for help.  The most important thing here is to only list things you control.  You don’t control other people, so don’t write down things like "3 bookings each week.”  Instead, your action plan could be to “talk to 10 people weekly.”

4 – Calendar Your Plans

This is very simple, and yet it’s surprising how often people fail to do it.  If it’s not in your calendar it’s just wishful thinking.  Put your action plans in your calendar so you can get them done!

3 – Consider MTO Goals

This is a way to manage your goals internally, including default patterns of doubt and resistance.  The idea here is to set 3 objectives for each goal: 

M = Minimal 

T = Target

O = optimal

The purpose is to give you a low enough target to allow you to get a win, all the way to the highest target you’d like to achieve, which helps you create consistency.

2 – Accountability

You can use an accountability partner – someone you share your commitments with and then report back on your progress, or use public accountability – tell a group of people you’re going to do something and create a consequence for not getting it done.  It works!

1 – Cultivate Daily Habits

Consistency trumps depth.  It’s better to do one small thing each day than to do many things once in a while.

Each topic described above can be explored in greater detail.  You can search the blog for more on each topic, and if you don’t find what you’re looking for, let us know.  We can point you to the topic you’re looking for (email and let us know how we can help). Here’s to your Ignition & Implementation! ~ SS

Cheerful C.H.A.N.G.E.

For many, change is not fun, in fact, it is often painful.   However, you can handle it differently if you approach it with this mindset:


Let’s look at each aspect of C.H.A.N.G.E. in more detail:


We have a deep need to create something in and with our lives.  In order to create that something, you have to experience change.  Only change will allow you to create what you want in life.  You’ve already created the life you are currently living, and you are in charge of creating the life you want in your future.  Most of us want something more/better/different than what we currently have in our lives, and change is the only way to get there.  Create the life you want with change.


Moments of inspiration are magical and can motivate us to create change, but without habits to maintain it, the change may not be sustained.  Desire, deserve, declarations and drive also won’t sustain change, but consistent action will.  Consistent actions or activities are also known as HABITS.  Establishing new habits are the key to creating lasting change and significant growth.  It’s also important to hang on to foundational habits that have served you when you’re going through change, because maintaining stability in some areas of your life will make the change in other areas easier to manage.   For example, if you read to your children every night, you should keep reading to your children while you build a new habit to scale up success in your business (such as making 10 phone calls per day).

Acknowledge & Appreciate

Acknowledge the changes and how they’ve positively impacted your life, no matter how small, and even appreciate the growing pains.   As you go through changes, be sure to acknowledge & appreciate where you have been.  Without your past, you would not be where you are today.  Even past struggles have helped you in one way or another, so acknowledge and appreciate that and you’ll be even more blessed moving forward.  It’s also important to recognize any progress you have made, even if you haven’t made it to the destination yet, so you can celebrate small wins and build upon them.


You’ve got to take care of yourself in the process of change.  Take care of yourself – emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  When you’re going through change in any area of your life, it can be stressful.  However, that stress can be alleviated if you nurture yourself.  Make sure you’re not allowing the change to take over your life and stop you from healthy habits like exercising and eating healthy.  And learn how to be your biggest cheerleader instead of your harshest judge.  Nurture & encourage yourself, don’t abuse yourself.


This is the kryptonite for all negative experiences in life, because you can’t hold gratitude and negativity at the same time.  Give thanks for change.  Give thanks for those things that remain the same.  There’s always something to be grateful for, if you look for it.  If you struggle with gratitude, just answer this, “How could it be worse?” 


Change requires an energetic commitment first in order to be successful.  When it comes to energy (and just about everything), you get what you give.  If you approach change with an apprehensive energy, then it will be slow and tenuous.  But if you approach change with enthusiastic or excited energy, then it will be an easier and faster experience for you.

Here’s to cheerful C.H.A.N.G.E.! ~ SS

The P.O.W.E.R. of the Present

I’m writing this in the midst of the holiday season, and there are lots of thoughts about presents – what you want, what to get others, and where to find the perfect present, right?  It dawned on me this morning that being present is perhaps the best present.  

In the hustle and bustle of our busy days and the craziness of our constant “connectedness,” there is a piece of me that craves peace, and I can only find it when I’m present.  When I stop looking at my phone, when I start looking at eyes of the people around me, when I take a moment and take a breath, then I can be present.  There is great power in the present, and I would like to share 5 tips to help you be more present this holiday season and any time:


Pause.  More than anything, pausing is the key to being present.  

When were are constantly on the go, which many of us are, it can help tremendously to even take two seconds to pause and take a deep breath.  Perhaps close your eyes and allow your visual senses to have a moment to pause as well.  When we stop what we’re doing, even for a brief moment, it can help us to appreciate the moment and possibly allow us to remember it better, too.  

So next time you notice you’re not present, pause, and bring yourself there.


Open.  My second tip for being present is to open.  There are many ways we can open ourselves to the present.  One way is to have an open mind.  We are often so caught up in our own lives and stories that we sometimes fail to be present with others because we are not open to options.  Another way to be open is to physically look at your posture and make sure your body language is open – arms uncrossed, head up and shoulders back, so you have an open heart.  My final suggestion on being open is to open your schedule or calendar.  Many people have things scheduled from morning to night with no “white space” to simply be present (I know I’m guilty of that at times!).  So even if you have to schedule space in your calendar to do it, it’s important to open up time for yourself to enjoy being present.


Watch.  The third tip for being present is to watch – watch what’s going on around you, and try to do it with the eyes of a child.  During the holidays there is so much to see!  Yet I wonder how many of us are really seeing it.  Do you really see the lights twinkling on the houses, or the ornaments adorning the tree?  Do you see the love in the gifts you gives as well as receive?  When you take the time to watch the wonders around you, it allows you to be wonderfully present.


Empathize.  This tip is an especially helpful way to be present with people who have a hard time during the holidays.  Whether it’s understanding that the days are difficult for them, or sharing feelings of sadness with those who’ve experienced loss, just being there for others is a great way to be present.  Empathy can even encompass being more aware of those around you as you go through your days, and understanding that you don’t know what’s going on with them, so it’s best to be present, patient and loving no matter how they treat you.


Relax.   This final tip to being present is something many people find difficult to do.  How can you relax when your schedule is so tight?  The key is to schedule it!  Whatever you find relaxing – whether  it’s watching TV, reading a book, getting a massage, cooking a meal, journaling, meditating, walking, or anything else – make sure you give yourself the gift of time to relax and do those things.  It is a gift that extends way beyond you, as when you take the time to relax, affects those you come into contact with, too.  When you’re relaxed, it enhances your interactions with others because it helps you to be present.

Those were my 5 P.O.W.E.R. tips for being present.  I hope they have been a gift to you.  I’d like to give you another gift as well:  A free session with one of our coaches! Visit to find out more and sign up now, or call our office at 805-552-4423 or email